Make This Go On Forever
by OtakuFangirlCrazyArtist
Summary: When Remus dies in book seven, he and Sirius are reunited. But will Sirius want him back after Remus' marriage to Tonks?


_A/N: __Hello! It's been awhile since I posted something, but here we are again. Not much to say about the plot itself, you'll just have to read it. However, many thanks to Nnoitra-Szayel for Sirius' lines in the multiple arguments, and also for typing this fic when I didn't want to 3. Please read and review!_

Make This Go on Forever

Sirius sat at the edge of the lake, looking down at the Living World. He watched as Remus' pale body was placed in a plain casket. Sirius could see Remus' soul standing by and watching as his body was entombed in the earth, next to his wife's. _Her_ soul was there too, standing next to him, holding his hand.

Seeing their entwined fingers sent a white-hot flare of anger through Sirius' brain. Bile rose in his throat at the thought that she and Remus had been together, that they'd had a _child_. That woman had been able to give Remus what he'd always wanted; what Sirius wasn't able to provide. Maybe that was why he'd married her.

It was this question that had plagued Sirius for the past year. Why had Remus married that woman? He'd sworn to Sirius that there never had been and never would be anyone else but him. Had he meant it? If Sirius hadn't gone to Azkaban for twelve years, would Remus still have married her? Sirius didn't know, and the uncertainty was killing him.

The woman leaned up to kiss Remus' cheek, and Sirius threw a stone into the lake, shattering the image. Hate and resentment churned in his gut. He stood and stalked away from the lake toward the small cottage he'd been living it.

It had originally been a castle, but with only Sirius there it had seemed too empty and lonesome. So one day, he'd woken up in a small, whitewashed cottage. That was how this place-he refused to call it "heaven"-worked. If you wanted it badly enough, your surroundings would change.

Sirius swung open the plain wooden door, making the dog-shaped knocker bang. He slammed it behind him and walked through the small kitchen. Once in his bedroom, he threw himself down on the mused bed, staring up at the peaked ceiling.

Sirius hated how this had turned out. If he'd only stayed alive, he wouldn't have to deal with any of this. He'd promised Remus he wouldn't leave again, and he'd broken that promise for the second time. Guilt crawled up his throat nearly choking him. Sirius hated how he'd betrayed his former husband.

So maybe he deserved to be left behind. He'd left Remus, so what was stopping Remus from being with someone else? Loyalty. Shouldn't Remus have been faithful even after Sirius' death? It's what Sirius would have done himself.

As he turned those old thoughts over in his head, a new one came to him. Remus was dead now, and he'd be coming here soon. That woman would be with him, too. Well, if she was there, Sirius didn't want to see either of them. He'd stay away from Remus unless he left his wife. And maybe Remus would stay away from him. Maybe he would be happy to sit with his wife and watch their child grow up and go through life and someday join them

Yes, maybe Remus didn't need him anymore. And if that was the case, then Sirius didn't seed him, either.

xXxXx

Mist swirled around Remus as he and Tonks were lifted above their funeral. She squeezed his hand when the last glimpse of the living world faded below them. He squeezed back automatically/

Questions tumbled through Remus' mind. What would he find when the mist cleared? Where were they going? Who was taking them there? And would Sirius be there when they arrived?

He hoped to see Sirius. Remus had missed him horribly these past two years, even after he'd married Tonks. She'd helped; her light and happy nature had alleviated his grief, but she wasn't Sirius. No one could replace Sirius, not ever, no matter what happened.

The problem, however, was that Remus was married now. He didn't know how Tonks would react to his relationship with Sirius. And would Sirius even want to see him, now that he was married? Somehow, Remus doubted it. Sirius wasn't the type of person to easily forgive what he saw as infidelity.

As Remus mused, the mist cleared and he found himself before tall, wrought iron gates. Beyond them, he could see a lake and a small cottage. Far beyond them, the mist closed in again He opened his mouth to ask Tonks where she wanted to go only to find that she'd vanished.

Remus pushed lightly and they swung open, slow and creaking. He walked through them hesitantly, looking for signs of life. As he crossed the grass, someone came out of the cottage, no doubt having heard the creaking gate. The figure turned towards Remus and the name slipped from Remus' lips before he could stop it.

"Sirius…" The man turned to face him, hostility in his gaze.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Sirius asked dully.

"I… came to see you…" Remus answered haltingly. Now that he was here, he could see how little Sirius wanted to see him.

"Great. Why don't you go be with _her,_ instead of talking to_ me, _the one you don't love anymore?" Sirius' voice held a tone of resentment and spite that stung.

"I do love you!" Remus yelled, aggravated.

"You sure as hell don't show it!"

"I thought I'd never see you again!" The need to justify himself irritated him even more.

"You could've at least spent some time mourning me before jumping into bed with your next victim!" That stung.

"I did! A whole year!"

"Yeah, all the while fawning after her! Don't think I didn't see what was going on!"

"She was coming on to me! If she hadn't been interested, I would have stayed single!"

"You should've stayed single anyway!"

"I was lonely!"

Sirius' face closed, and his voice lowered. "And I haven't been?" The sadness and pain in his expression made Remus' heart ache.

"I… guess you have been," Remus sighed softly, "I'm sorry. But I couldn't stand it any longer, and you said you didn't want me to kill myself to be with you. Which I seriously considered."

Sirius flinched inwardly at the thought. But it would have been easier to watch. Easier than seeing Remus fall in love with someone else… "And I can stand it? Look around, Remus. There's no one here. There's been no one here but me." It was true. Apart from Remus, Sirius hadn't seen a single soul since he'd arrived.

"What about Lily and James and everyone else who's died? They could have helped, kept you company."

"If you're so smart, tell me where they are. You don't think I thought of that? Nothing happened. It's always been _just me._" The bitterness in his voice made Remus take a step back.

"I don't know how this place works. But I bet if you really wanted to see them, they'd be here."

"When I got here, all that greeted me was an empty castle."

"Well, that's not my fault." Remus knew it was a callous thing to say, but his irritation was starting to leak into his words.

"You're right. It's mine. I was made to be alone. You can go now." With difficulty, Sirius turned his back on the man he had such deep feelings for.

"I don't want to leave you…" Remus' heart sank as he realized how badly this was going. He'd thought there would be a way to convince Sirius how much he still cared, even if he had married Tonks.

"Why not? Go and be with Tonks, Remus. Go watch your son grow up. It's the life you've always wanted."

"That's the life I wanted until I fell in love with you. I don't want a life if you're not in it."

"Then just go on like I don't exist. You seemed content to do that before."

"That's not what I did! I was always thinking about you, comparing you with her. I couldn't stop."

"Obviously it didn't matter that much," Sirius' voice nearly broke, but he locked away the sobs threatening to build in his chest. "I know what I saw Remus, and it wasn't you missing me."

"You couldn't hear what I was thinking. What you saw was only half the story." Remus was desperate to erase the tears he could hear in Sirius' voice.

"But it _happened._ Just… just _go, _Remus… We're over."

"No… I don't want you to have to be alone. Just give me one more chance, please…"

"No! There are no more chances. Just let me go now… I don't want to be around when you realize you want her more than me."

"But that's not true! I want you so much more than her."

"If she were here, you wouldn't be saying that, and you know it."

"We'll never know, because she disappeared. I don't know how to find her."

"I don't care; I refuse to take you back."

"Fine. I'll leave you alone, just like you want." Fed up and frustrated, Remus turned and strode away, back through the creaking gate and down the road that appeared there. When the mist closed in again he sank down under a tree, drawing his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them.

Remus sat there for what seemed like ages, pondering how badly he'd broken his relationship with Sirius. He prayed it wasn't irreparable; they needed each other, no matter what Sirius said. They both knew that, deep down. But Remus didn't know how to go about getting Sirius to realize that.

As he sat and thought, the mist began to slowly clear. He raised his head as footsteps became audible. A familiar figure could soon be seen walking towards him, Remus' lips quirked upward as he took in Tonks' familiar appearance. Her heavily patched jeans and Weird Sisters t-shirt were much the same as they had been when he first met her, complete with the violently pink hair. She sat on the grass beside him without a word.

Remus sighed softly and rested his head back on his knees. "Are you not speaking to me either?"

She looked over at him in surprise. "You seem sad… Usually when you're in this mood, you don't like to talk."

"Oh. I guess that's true…" Remus cast his gaze to the ground and in doing so; he noticed that Tonks' wedding ring was missing. Now that he thought about it, his hadn't made it to this place either.

"There's someone else, isn't there." Tonks said quietly. It wasn't a question.

"Yes…" he didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay. I always knew I wasn't your first choice."

"I… It's not as though I didn't love you." Guilt chewed his stomach,

"I know. And we were happy."

He smiled. "Yes."

"So… who is it?"

Remus sighed and stared blankly across the road. "Sirius."

"Oh. That's not what I was expecting…"

"Is that a problem?"

"Not at all. I just didn't think it would be him." Remus said nothing, and after a minute Tonks asked, "Why aren't you with him?"

"He doesn't want to see me…"

"Because you married me."

Remus nodded miserably. "I thought he'd understand…"

"You should keep trying. We've got forever up here, so you'll wear him down eventually."

Remus sighed quietly. "I guess…"

"You will. He'd be crazy not to take you back."

"Thanks." They grinned at each other for a minute before he stood up. "I'm going to go talk to him again."

"Okay. Good luck, Remus."

"Thank you for everything." She nodded. "It's been great." With that, he turned away and walked back to Sirius' new home.

xXxXx

"I thought you were leaving me alone," Sirius said dully as Remus approached him by the lake again.

"I can't leave someone I truly love," Remus replied quietly.

"Oh yeah? Then why did you move on? Did you not really love me?"

"I've told you! I do love you and I never really moved on!"

"Such lies that fall from your sinful lips!" Sirius jumped to his feet, glaring angrily at Remus.

"I'm not lying, Sirius!"

"Well, I don't believe you!"

"What do I have to do to convince you?"

"You can't! Because what you've done is irreversible!"

"There's got to be _something!_"

"There's _NOTHING!_"

"Fine! I'll just leave, then."

"Good riddance, I say!"

"I'm going!" Remus turned on his heel and marched away a few steps. Anger burned his stomach like acid.

Sirius didn't follow as Remus left. He turned around, wiping away a tear, so that he wouldn't have to see Remus walking away yet again.

Though Sirius didn't see, the werewolf had stopped. He couldn't leave again; it would hurt the both of them too much. "I'm not leaving you again. I refuse."

"Why not?" Sirius asked quietly, still wiping his eyes.

"Because you don't deserve to be alone. And I know I really don't deserve to be with you, but I want you to be happy."

Sirius turned slightly to look at Remus, whose back was still turned. "You have no idea what you do to me, Remus… If you're coming back to me… I don't want you to leave me when you decide to go be with her and watch your kid grow up."

Remus turned fully to face him, "I'm not going back to her. If you'll take me back, I'll stay with you forever. Since that's what we have now, I think."

"Do you promise?" Sirius asked quietly.

"I promise," he replied firmly, trying to make the sincerity he felt reach his eyes.

Sirius tentatively opened his arms for a hug and Remus stepped into them without hesitation. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius and they clung to each other silently for a few minutes.

Finally, Remus said quietly: "Thank you."

"For what?" Sirius asked softly.

"Giving me another chance…"

"I couldn't not… I missed you too much."

"I missed you, too."

Sirius only nodded. He still didn't quit believe it; anger still burned when he thought of what Remus had done. It was fading, though, and maybe soon Sirius would be able to forgive him completely.

"What now?" Remus asked.

"I can show you my house, I guess," Sirius said, reluctant to let Remus see the small, sad cottage.

"Alright," Remus said with a kind smile. He stepped back a bit and took Sirius' hand. Together, they walked back to their now-shared house where they would live for the rest of time.


End file.
